[ he actually waits, for a moment, before saying anything. how long was he supposed to shut up for, was that half a minute? there's no petulance in his voice now, not like there usually is. ]
[I'm already so worried about fitting in and building back up all those bridges that I first burned down and then came back four years later to grind my heel into the ashes]
I already messed up by -- ...liking you.
[and telling you about it, like a MORON]
I'm going to screw everything up and I -- I just want to swim with you guys, and.
[ he almost starts to feel a little hurt by that, before he stops to think about it. then it doesn't take him long to realize what Rin is getting at, and it's not hurtful at all. it's actually kind of endearing in a sad, kinda awkward way. ]
But you can't help that kind of thing, Rin-chan. Besides—no matter what happens, whether we're a couple, or you get involved with anyone else or... whatever! You'll still always be our friend. Nothing could ever change that! Not ever. So you don't have to worry. Okay?
You don't have to do anything special... we're all happy just to have you back. It's not just me! [ ahem ] But I guess I'm a little biased, ehh, right now...
[ a "little" he's going crazy. and the fact that Rin is actually listening to him isn't making it any easier. ]
If you don't wanna, you know, be a couple and stuff, that's okay. As long as you know that you'll always be able to swim with us whenever you want, because we want you to. That's what's really important.
[he's silent again, and he's mostly trying to wrangle all the feelings in his chest]
[how did he get friends like these? how did someone like Nagisa end up liking him? he feels like he doesn't deserve any of it and he can't figure any of it out, but]
...Don't talk about being a couple so casually and then back down. You still haven't even asked me out!
[it would actually be easier to deal with this, than to deal with you'll always be able to swim with us and we're happy to have you back]
That's because you called me and told me to shut up before I could say anything!
[ butthead. but he's got that teasing tone to his voice so evidently the heavy stuff is taken care of. Rin being a Huge Baka is also a good sign. ]
And I was just about to say, "Hey, Rin-Rin, wanna be a couple?" too. But now I have to come up with another line because that's too "casual." Who knows how long that'll take me!
[ if you hear the odd squeak it's just Nagisa bouncing around in his chair ]
So does that mean we can tell everybody? Can we go for walks and hold hands? Can we put our sleeping bags next to each other at the party?! [ GASP ] But that's only if you don't try to get up to something! I'm pure an innocent, okay! Don't get any ideas! But still, it would be nice to be—
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What do you mean? You haven't messed up.
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It's -- there's --
[I'm already so worried about fitting in and building back up all those bridges that I first burned down and then came back four years later to grind my heel into the ashes]
I already messed up by -- ...liking you.
[and telling you about it, like a MORON]
I'm going to screw everything up and I -- I just want to swim with you guys, and.
[jESUS CHRIST he feels like he's going to puke]
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But you can't help that kind of thing, Rin-chan. Besides—no matter what happens, whether we're a couple, or you get involved with anyone else or... whatever! You'll still always be our friend. Nothing could ever change that! Not ever. So you don't have to worry. Okay?
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[he's never been able to tell his heart what to do, and when he tried, he was miserable and friendless and frustrated]
[the thing is: he doesn't trust himself, but he trusts them. he trusts nagisa]
...O-okay.
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[ a "little" he's going crazy. and the fact that Rin is actually listening to him isn't making it any easier. ]
If you don't wanna, you know, be a couple and stuff, that's okay. As long as you know that you'll always be able to swim with us whenever you want, because we want you to. That's what's really important.
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[how did he get friends like these? how did someone like Nagisa end up liking him? he feels like he doesn't deserve any of it and he can't figure any of it out, but]
...Don't talk about being a couple so casually and then back down. You still haven't even asked me out!
[it would actually be easier to deal with this, than to deal with you'll always be able to swim with us and we're happy to have you back]
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[ butthead. but he's got that teasing tone to his voice so evidently the heavy stuff is taken care of. Rin being a Huge Baka is also a good sign. ]
And I was just about to say, "Hey, Rin-Rin, wanna be a couple?" too. But now I have to come up with another line because that's too "casual." Who knows how long that'll take me!
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Fine! I'll wait!
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you said the secret word. you win the prize. the prize is delighted giggling. congratulations. ]
Just say yes already!
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No way! I said I'll wait!
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[good thing he doesn't need his ribcage or anything because he's pretty sure his racing heart's about to break it]
...Then it better be good!
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Are you expecting a diamond ring?
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I'm gonna hang up again. 5, 4, 3 --
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[now what]
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So does that mean we can tell everybody? Can we go for walks and hold hands? Can we put our sleeping bags next to each other at the party?! [ GASP ] But that's only if you don't try to get up to something! I'm pure an innocent, okay! Don't get any ideas! But still, it would be nice to be—
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—um, close to you.
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[too romantic]
Uh. I -- uh.
[shit he's totally head over heels for Nagisa Hazuki]
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[to all of it]
I wanna do all that. -- Shut up about ideas. If you're an innocent I'm a jellyfish.
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